INTJs Do Have Feelings. Many, especially those who do not know them well, may think that INTJs are unfeeling, but as an INTJ, and knowing several others, this is not so. As a matter of fact, all the INTJs that I know, myself included, feel very deeply, may be even more so than others. What they do have a problem with, however, is showing it.
INTJs don't cry at the usual things that most people cry about.
For instance, I don't cry at chick flicks or many of the usual things that most cry about, but I am deeply moved to the point that I not only cry and feel my whole body in chills when I see a documentary or movie where someone's parent dying in a movie due to personal experience or when I see children suffering. I also cry and get angry at the same time in family conflicts. My family think I am emotional, but they mean it in intensity, rather than in frequency, because the only few times they see me emotional are very intense like that. lol
INTJ Communication Methods
Most of the time, although INTJs are experiencing and feeling things, they are also thinking and analyzing their feelings at the same time. This results in them not being able to or feeling uncomfortable showing feelings at the onset or while something is happening. They want to thoroughly understand their feelings - such the situation, what they are feeling, why they are feeling it, if the feeling has validity, etc. Later on, after they have thought about and analysed it, they may cry or feel moved. If a similar situation occurs, they may show feelings because they have already understood it in a previous instance.
Personally, I have worked at trying to show my feelings especially to people I care about over the years, but it took some very extreme losses to do so. I have have gotten better at expressing my care to people, but I am most comfortable doing so in actions. When I am too verbal about my feelings, it feels inauthentic to myself, and it makes me feel a little awkward and uncomfortable. I know from experience, though, that repressing or keeping feelings in can lead to depression, anxiety or even, misunderstandings. What has been a better method to me since I was 10 is writing my feelings on paper either in greeting cards, poetry or journals/blog posts, like this.I would make homemade cards on my mom's birthday and other holidays to tell her I love her because I didn't feel comfortable saying it. To this day, I don't feel comfortable saying it to my mom, but I make an effort to show her by spending time with her and saying it every now and then.
I even had trouble expressing my feelings to boyfriends. The only one that I have been openly affectionate and more verbally expressive to, though not always, is with my husband. Coincidentally, he is also an INTJ. It is a relief to know that if I am not expressive sometimes, he can tell I still are from my actions.
I am also expressive on paper to my close friends, my sister and my brother, but I feel uncomfortable being verbal about it. I try to show my love and care by spending time with them and calling them every two weeks. I know that it is not a lot to other types, but it is to me as I dislike talking on the phone.
For INTJs to be expressive in actions or words, they must care deeply about them. Once an INTJ cares about someone, they will be very kind to that person and be there for them, but it has to be earned. They carry the same standards for themselves as well.
Now, although INTJs don't expressive their feelings to everyone, and do not usually make the first move, his does not mean that we dislike when other's show their feelings. I actually enjoy it when they are expressive because it makes it easier for me to open up. However, I greatly dislike hollow flattery or shallow feelings. I also dislike overly emotional people who show their feelings all they time because it makes me feel suspicious about the sincerity and depth. I know this may not be correct as some people are expressive and genuine at the same time. However, I just feel uncomfortable about excessive displays of expressions, be it anger, love, sadness, etc. Excessive for me is every single time I see someone or for a majority of our time together; there must also be time for talking and analysing together. ;)
Because INTJs feel deeply, but do not express it, they can actually get very hurt if the few people that they are expressive to are neglectful or insensitive. I used to drop friends and acquaintances easily as a result because I am not one to wallow when wrong is done to me, but rather get angry or defensive. I have learned, though, and it is something I believe all INTJs must make an effort to learn, that sometimes people don't mean to hurt you on purpose. Many times, people do not think about their during actions or after, like we do. (I say after because once in a while I am impulsive, though I usually am a planner, but in those times when I am impulsive, I will analyze the situation for hours. lol.) In cases where you care about someone, and they say or do something that upsets you, give them a chance to explain. Tell them how their actions affected you, but that you realize that perhaps sometimes people misunderstand each other and ask them to clarify. If they care, they may not fully see your side or fully understand your reaction, but they will be genuinely apologetic. However, if they continue doing the same thing more than three times, it may be a good idea to distance yourself just a little until they do change their behavior or be very distant if they don't.
Resolving Misunderstandings
If you are the one who has done something that may have caused a misunderstanding or pain to another, apologize, but don't obsess or analyse their actions and communication or lack thereof. After you have genuinely apologized, give them some time to calm down. This is very hard because we want to understand what they are thinking, if they were affected, what you did wrong so that you may not do it again, etc. However, I have learned patience from living with my husband. Being an INTJ, he is just like me when he is upset, he gets angry in a silent way and then will withdraw. If I press him, he gets angry and then withdraws further. After you give people time to think and reflect on the situation and on the whole person of who you are, communication will be easier. We must learn to be more tolerant and accepting of the different temperaments of those in our life. Sometimes INTJs dismiss people who have different temperaments from them. However, if you care about the person and you have similar interests and values, it is worth the effort to work at communication and relationships with them. Remember, though, that you deserve the same in return. Others must also judge you as a whole person, not based on one or two instances, unless they are extreme. INTJs are naturally perfectionists and can beat themselves up for mistakes. You don't need others in your life to beat you up constantly for them, but rather see you and accept you for who you are, strengths and weaknesses.
Please tell me whether you can relate as an INTJ regarding feelings and communication.
...understanding the world as an NT (INTJ and INTP) personality type & as an HSP + general personal development...Please FOLLOW.
2012-01-25
2012-01-18
INTJ Cognitive Functions Analysis
Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
Source: http://www.typelogic.com/intj.html
To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.
INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.
INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.
In the broadest terms, what INTJs "do" tends to be what they "know". Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.
Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.
This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.
Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to "work at" a relationship. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.
Functional Analysis
by Joe Butt
Introverted iNtuition
INTJs are idea people. Anything is possible; everything is negotiable. Whatever the outer circumstances, INTJs are ever perceiving inner pattern-forms and using real-world materials to operationalize them. Others may see what is and wonder why; INTJs see what might be and say "Why not?!" Paradoxes, antinomies, and other contradictory phenomena aptly express these intuitors' amusement at those whom they feel may be taking a particular view of reality too seriously. INTJs enjoy developing unique solutions to complex problems.Extraverted Thinking
Thinking in this auxiliary role is a workhorse. Closure is the payoff for efforts expended. Evaluation begs diagnosis; product drives process. As they come to light, Thinking tends, protects, affirms and directs iNtuition's offspring, fully equipping them for fulfilling and useful lives. A faithful pedagogue, Thinking argues not so much on its own behalf, but in defense of its charges. And through this process these impressionable ideas take on the likeness of their master.Introverted Feeling
Feeling has a modest inner room, two doors down from the Most Imminent iNtuition. It doesn't get out much, but lends its influence on behalf of causes which are Good and Worthy and Humane. We may catch a glimpse of it in the unspoken attitude of good will, or the gracious smile or nod. Some question the existence of Feeling in this type, yet its unseen balance to Thinking is a cardinal dimension in the full measure of the INTJ's soul.Extraverted Sensing
Sensing serves with a good will, or not at all. As other inferior functions, it has only a rudimentary awareness of context, amount or degree. Thus INTJs sweat the details or, at times, omit them. "I've made up my mind, don't confuse me with the facts" could well have been said by an INTJ on a mission. Sensing's extraverted attitude is evident in this type's bent to savor sensations rather than to merely categorize them. Indiscretions of indulgence are likely an expression of the unconscious vengeance of the inferior.Famous INTJs:
Susan B. AnthonyLance Armstrong
Arthur Ashe, tennis champion
Augustus Caesar (Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus)
Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)
Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)
William J. Bennett, "drug czar"
William F. Buckley, Jr.
Raymond Burr (Perry Mason, Ironsides)
Chevy Chase (Cornelius Crane) (Fletch)
Katie Couric
Phil Donahue
Michael Dukakis, governor of Mass., 1988 U.S. Dem. pres. candidate
Richard Gere (Pretty Woman)
Rudy Giuliani, former New York City mayor
Greg Gumbel, television sportscaster
Hannibal, Carthaginian military leader
Emily Bronte, author of Wuthering Heights
Angela Lansbury (Murder, She Wrote)
Orel Leonard Hershiser, IV
Peter Jennings
Charles Everett Koop
Ivan Lendl
C. S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia)
Joan Lunden
Edwin Moses, U.S. olympian (hurdles)
Martina Navratilova
Michelle Obama
General Colin Powell, former US Secretary of State
Charles Rangel, US Representative, D-N.Y.
Pernell Roberts (Bonanza)
Donald Rumsfeld, former US Secretary of Defense
Hillary Clinton, US Secretary of State
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Governor of California
Josephine Tey (Elizabeth Mackintosh), mystery writer (Brat Farrar)
- U.S. Presidents:
- Chester A. Arthur
- Calvin Coolidge
- Thomas Jefferson
- John F. Kennedy
- James K. Polk
- Woodrow Wilson
Fictional:
Cassius (Julius Caesar)Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)
Gandalf the Grey (J. R. R. Tolkein's Middle Earth books)
Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)
Professor Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes' nemesis
Horatio Hornblower
Ensign Ro (Star Trek--the Next Generation)
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (Hamlet)
George Smiley, John le Carre's master spy
Clarice Starling (Silence of the Lambs)
Copyright © 1996-2011 by Marina Margaret Heiss and Joe Butt
INTJ In-Depth Personality Description
Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
(Introverted Intuition with Extraverted Thinking)
Source: http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.htmlThe Scientist
As an INTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically.
INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfill. To a somewhat lesser extent, they have similar expectations of others.
With Introverted Intuition dominating their personality, INTJs focus their energy on observing the world, and generating ideas and possibilities. Their mind constantly gathers information and makes associations about it. They are tremendously insightful and usually are very quick to understand new ideas. However, their primary interest is not understanding a concept, but rather applying that concept in a useful way. Unlike the INTP, they do not follow an idea as far as they possibly can, seeking only to understand it fully. INTJs are driven to come to conclusions about ideas. Their need for closure and organization usually requires that they take some action.
INTJ's tremendous value and need for systems and organization, combined with their natural insightfulness, makes them excellent scientists. An INTJ scientist gives a gift to society by putting their ideas into a useful form for others to follow. It is not easy for the INTJ to express their internal images, insights, and abstractions. The internal form of the INTJ's thoughts and concepts is highly individualized, and is not readily translatable into a form that others will understand. However, the INTJ is driven to translate their ideas into a plan or system that is usually readily explainable, rather than to do a direct translation of their thoughts. They usually don't see the value of a direct transaction, and will also have difficulty expressing their ideas, which are non-linear. However, their extreme respect of knowledge and intelligence will motivate them to explain themselves to another person who they feel is deserving of the effort.
INTJs are natural leaders, although they usually choose to remain in the background until they see a real need to take over the lead. When they are in leadership roles, they are quite effective, because they are able to objectively see the reality of a situation, and are adaptable enough to change things which aren't working well. They are the supreme strategists - always scanning available ideas and concepts and weighing them against their current strategy, to plan for every conceivable contingency.
INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people's thoughts or feelings. Unless their Feeling side is developed, they may have problems giving other people the level of intimacy that is needed. Unless their Sensing side is developed, they may have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary for implementing their ideas.
The INTJ's interest in dealing with the world is to make decisions, express judgments, and put everything that they encounter into an understandable and rational system. Consequently, they are quick to express judgments. Often they have very evolved intuitions, and are convinced that they are right about things. Unless they complement their intuitive understanding with a well-developed ability to express their insights, they may find themselves frequently misunderstood. In these cases, INTJs tend to blame misunderstandings on the limitations of the other party, rather than on their own difficulty in expressing themselves. This tendency may cause the INTJ to dismiss others input too quickly, and to become generally arrogant and elitist.
INTJs are ambitious, self-confident, deliberate, long-range thinkers. Many INTJs end up in engineering or scientific pursuits, although some find enough challenge within the business world in areas which involve organizing and strategic planning. They dislike messiness and inefficiency, and anything that is muddled or unclear. They value clarity and efficiency, and will put enormous amounts of energy and time into consolidating their insights into structured patterns.
Other people may have a difficult time understanding an INTJ. They may see them as aloof and reserved. Indeed, the INTJ is not overly demonstrative of their affections, and is likely to not give as much praise or positive support as others may need or desire. That doesn't mean that he or she doesn't truly have affection or regard for others, they simply do not typically feel the need to express it. Others may falsely perceive the INTJ as being rigid and set in their ways. Nothing could be further from the truth, because the INTJ is committed to always finding the objective best strategy to implement their ideas. The INTJ is usually quite open to hearing an alternative way of doing something.
When under a great deal of stress, the INTJ may become obsessed with mindless repetitive, Sensate activities, such as over-drinking. They may also tend to become absorbed with minutia and details that they would not normally consider important to their overall goal.
INTJs need to remember to express themselves sufficiently, so as to avoid difficulties with people misunderstandings. In the absence of properly developing their communication abilities, they may become abrupt and short with people, and isolationists.
INTJs have a tremendous amount of ability to accomplish great things. They have insight into the Big Picture, and are driven to synthesize their concepts into solid plans of action. Their reasoning skills gives them the means to accomplish that. INTJs are most always highly competent people, and will not have a problem meeting their career or education goals. They have the capability to make great strides in these arenas. On a personal level, the INTJ who practices tolerances and puts effort into effectively communicating their insights to others has everything in his or her power to lead a rich and rewarding life.
Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Introverted Intuition
Auxilliary: Extraverted Thinking
Tertiary: Introverted Feeling
Inferior: Extraverted Sensing
Other INTJ Portrait Descriptions:
2012-01-06
INTJs and Minimalism
I don't think all INTJs are minimalist, but from reading on intj.forum.com, I get the sense that many are or desire to be. That is because although INTJs hate the mundane, they also like structure and are very focused internally.
INTJ Minimalist Fashion Style
Many minimalist also seem to love to wear black. I think it is because they like a simple, minimalist wardrobe.
This is ironic because for as long as I can remember, save for a few years of experimentation when I first started working because I wanted to fit into corporate culture at the advice of a friend, I wore only black, red, blue and antique white/ivory. Although I did not use the title in junior high or high school, I was a covert goth, listening to the music and dressing in the colors, but not overly screaming for attention with extreme outfits. I still have the same gothic interests, such as poetry, literature, opera, gothic rock, and I de-cluttered my closet to find that my favorite items were still black, red and ivory. I do have the occasional indigo and purple, but I try not to as they don't match with the rest of my items.
Why a Simple or Minimalist Lifestyle is Appealing for INTJs
I find that when my apartment is full of too much stuff, or even when I don't have much as in my previous studio, and the apartment gets cluttered, I cannot work well until I clean it up. Even when it is clean, I take great pleasure from organizing my things periodically. However, this has resulted in many days wasted just reorganizing stuff. As a result, I made a decision in 2007 to embark on a simpler, more minimalist lifestyle. Being an INTJ, I was not following the pack, especially in New York. Everet Bogue was not even on the scene yet. lol. (He just turned out to be a marketer and a fake, something INTJs detest anyway, because after he made loads of money on his book, he abandoned minimalisim with a new site called "F**k Minimalism.)
In any case, while I have certainly reached peaks and valleys on the simple living / minimalist path, but have stayed on it for the most part, periodically de-cluttering. I have had a new fire lately as I get older, and want to accomplish my life goals. I find that too many possessions distracts me from those goals, and causes wasted time and stress. I desire a life of intellectual richness and complexity, like many INTJs do, not one of "keeping up with the Joneses" or displaying your success through possessions as most of society does. I think it is an INTJ quality to look for solutions and improvement of things, and minimalism has been my solution to creating a more fulfilling and meaningful life for myself.
If you want to learn more about minimalism or how to go about starting a minimalist lifestyle or simply de-cluttering, check out my other blog www.simplicityandsuccess.com (formerly urbanminimalist.wordpress.com)
Please share your INTJ experiences and thoughts about possessions, fashion, minimalism, etc.
INTJ Minimalist Fashion Style
Many minimalist also seem to love to wear black. I think it is because they like a simple, minimalist wardrobe.
This is ironic because for as long as I can remember, save for a few years of experimentation when I first started working because I wanted to fit into corporate culture at the advice of a friend, I wore only black, red, blue and antique white/ivory. Although I did not use the title in junior high or high school, I was a covert goth, listening to the music and dressing in the colors, but not overly screaming for attention with extreme outfits. I still have the same gothic interests, such as poetry, literature, opera, gothic rock, and I de-cluttered my closet to find that my favorite items were still black, red and ivory. I do have the occasional indigo and purple, but I try not to as they don't match with the rest of my items.
Why a Simple or Minimalist Lifestyle is Appealing for INTJs
I find that when my apartment is full of too much stuff, or even when I don't have much as in my previous studio, and the apartment gets cluttered, I cannot work well until I clean it up. Even when it is clean, I take great pleasure from organizing my things periodically. However, this has resulted in many days wasted just reorganizing stuff. As a result, I made a decision in 2007 to embark on a simpler, more minimalist lifestyle. Being an INTJ, I was not following the pack, especially in New York. Everet Bogue was not even on the scene yet. lol. (He just turned out to be a marketer and a fake, something INTJs detest anyway, because after he made loads of money on his book, he abandoned minimalisim with a new site called "F**k Minimalism.)
In any case, while I have certainly reached peaks and valleys on the simple living / minimalist path, but have stayed on it for the most part, periodically de-cluttering. I have had a new fire lately as I get older, and want to accomplish my life goals. I find that too many possessions distracts me from those goals, and causes wasted time and stress. I desire a life of intellectual richness and complexity, like many INTJs do, not one of "keeping up with the Joneses" or displaying your success through possessions as most of society does. I think it is an INTJ quality to look for solutions and improvement of things, and minimalism has been my solution to creating a more fulfilling and meaningful life for myself.
If you want to learn more about minimalism or how to go about starting a minimalist lifestyle or simply de-cluttering, check out my other blog www.simplicityandsuccess.com (formerly urbanminimalist.wordpress.com)
Please share your INTJ experiences and thoughts about possessions, fashion, minimalism, etc.
2012-01-04
Time Management: Simple Daily Routine for a Productive Day
I am interested in varied subjects, and I enjoy reading very much. As a result, I spend a great deal of time reading blogs and other materials online. While I desire to understand concepts when I do research and compartmentalize information, I also desire application of these concepts and theories and a tangible result. Otherwise, I feel that my day is wasted, and I feel down and/or stressed/anxious. With it’s wonderful wealth of information, one can spend a whole day reading online. While acquiring knowledge is doing something, it does not produce a tangible result unless applied. To prevent oneself from getting carried away when reading or researching online, it helps me a lot to try to establish a simple routine in the morning to set the day. I personally hate days that are too routine or so structured that it does not allow creativity and originality, but to be successful routines and plans are necessary. Believe me, I have learned the hard way from years of procrastinating.
I don’t like strictly schedule days that are scheduled from hour to hour, but time estimation and a loose schedule is very necessary.
Simple Daily Routine for Success
1) First, when you wake up, make your bed immediately before you leave the room. That gives you your first sense of accomplishing something to see a neat bed.
2) Put on a pot of water to boil for tea or your coffee maker for tea, then brush your teeth. I have to add this because I often would head straight to the computer, forget about breakfast and then wonder why I am tired a few hours later.
3) After you brush your teeth, as the water continues to boil or as your tea is being made, make yourself a healthy, balance breakfast. I like a whole grain English muffin / whole wheat toast, an egg and fresh fruit . When I wake up before 8 a.m., my stomach is very sensitive, so I will just have whole grain toast with cream cheese or a slice of cheese on the side and fruit, then have an egg around 10:00 a.m.
4) Start your brain up by reading a blog or article relating to your most important work for 30 minutes.
5) Then, begin your work relating to your most important life goal, and work on it for your scheduled time daily. For me, it is studying to get into grad school. For those of you who are working, wake up an hour earlier and do something in relation to your most important goal, such as reading a book, learning a software in relation to it, etc. For those who are already doing work they enjoy, congratulations. When you get to work, make sure you work on the most important projects or most important clients first.
6) After you have worked for a few hours at your most important goal, take a break to have a snack of fruit or something else healthy if it is not yet lunchtime. You may choose to just eat and clear your mind, or you can read an enjoyable blog as a reward for your hard work.
7) Next, work on a personal project, such as de-cluttering, sewing, arranging your desk, etc.
8) After this, perhaps, it may be time for lunch. For those who work outside of the home, take a walk outside to clear your mind, even if it is for 15 minutes. Your brain will feel refreshed.
For those who work at home, have lunch, then take the scenic route to do your errands and chores, such as grocery shopping, shopping for household necessities, laundry, picking up mail at the post office, etc. I personally hate crowds, we have our share of stores in NY, so the trees are a nice break. The trees or quite streets without stores also reduce the temptation to buy unnecessary things and the walk is very relaxing. (There was a time when I would visit many stores to see what is on sale, but I ended up wasting money and time, so I try to avoid going into stores unless I have something very specific that I need. If it is something that I want, I wait a week and see if I still want it.) Be sure that you are mindful of the time because after being indoors for most of the day thus far, you may loose track of time outside, especially if there are lines at the stores. I would say that you limit this outing to 1 hour if you're just doing shopping, and 3 hours if you are doing laundry. I generally do my grocery shopping on laundry days during the time which I wait for the clothing to go in the dryer. My laundromat is 3 streets away from home, and the grocery store is conveniently on the same block of the laundromat, so I take home the groceries at that time also. I am taking advantage of the convenience I pay for in a high cost of living in New York.
5) When I return from my errands, I usually make dinner, then do another small project, such as altering a garment or cleaning the kitchen.
6) Then I award myself for all the small accomplishments of the day by doing something I enjoy for the rest of the day. For me it is writing a blog post or reading a book for pleasure or a blog I follow.
The time that you choose to do your main work may be different if you have a very hard time getting up. I would say that I focus best late at night to early in the morning. However, my husband has to get to work before 8 a.m., and he has a commute that is one hour and a half to one hour and 45 minutes. So, to be considerate to him, I wake up at 6:00 a.m. with him. It does take me a little while to wake up and focus, which is why I take some time to read an article relating to my field before I get to studying. The pros is that I am still able to focus more in the morning than in the afternoon or evening. I also feel quite a sense of accomplishment when by 2 a.m., work that requires my mental concentration is done. I tend to crash mentally at 3 p.m., like many people, so that is why from 2:00 p.m. onward, I do hands-on or rote projects, errands, cooking, and hobbies for pleasure.
Please share your ideas on your routine for a productive day.
I don’t like strictly schedule days that are scheduled from hour to hour, but time estimation and a loose schedule is very necessary.
Simple Daily Routine for Success
1) First, when you wake up, make your bed immediately before you leave the room. That gives you your first sense of accomplishing something to see a neat bed.
2) Put on a pot of water to boil for tea or your coffee maker for tea, then brush your teeth. I have to add this because I often would head straight to the computer, forget about breakfast and then wonder why I am tired a few hours later.
3) After you brush your teeth, as the water continues to boil or as your tea is being made, make yourself a healthy, balance breakfast. I like a whole grain English muffin / whole wheat toast, an egg and fresh fruit . When I wake up before 8 a.m., my stomach is very sensitive, so I will just have whole grain toast with cream cheese or a slice of cheese on the side and fruit, then have an egg around 10:00 a.m.
4) Start your brain up by reading a blog or article relating to your most important work for 30 minutes.
5) Then, begin your work relating to your most important life goal, and work on it for your scheduled time daily. For me, it is studying to get into grad school. For those of you who are working, wake up an hour earlier and do something in relation to your most important goal, such as reading a book, learning a software in relation to it, etc. For those who are already doing work they enjoy, congratulations. When you get to work, make sure you work on the most important projects or most important clients first.
6) After you have worked for a few hours at your most important goal, take a break to have a snack of fruit or something else healthy if it is not yet lunchtime. You may choose to just eat and clear your mind, or you can read an enjoyable blog as a reward for your hard work.
7) Next, work on a personal project, such as de-cluttering, sewing, arranging your desk, etc.
8) After this, perhaps, it may be time for lunch. For those who work outside of the home, take a walk outside to clear your mind, even if it is for 15 minutes. Your brain will feel refreshed.
For those who work at home, have lunch, then take the scenic route to do your errands and chores, such as grocery shopping, shopping for household necessities, laundry, picking up mail at the post office, etc. I personally hate crowds, we have our share of stores in NY, so the trees are a nice break. The trees or quite streets without stores also reduce the temptation to buy unnecessary things and the walk is very relaxing. (There was a time when I would visit many stores to see what is on sale, but I ended up wasting money and time, so I try to avoid going into stores unless I have something very specific that I need. If it is something that I want, I wait a week and see if I still want it.) Be sure that you are mindful of the time because after being indoors for most of the day thus far, you may loose track of time outside, especially if there are lines at the stores. I would say that you limit this outing to 1 hour if you're just doing shopping, and 3 hours if you are doing laundry. I generally do my grocery shopping on laundry days during the time which I wait for the clothing to go in the dryer. My laundromat is 3 streets away from home, and the grocery store is conveniently on the same block of the laundromat, so I take home the groceries at that time also. I am taking advantage of the convenience I pay for in a high cost of living in New York.
5) When I return from my errands, I usually make dinner, then do another small project, such as altering a garment or cleaning the kitchen.
6) Then I award myself for all the small accomplishments of the day by doing something I enjoy for the rest of the day. For me it is writing a blog post or reading a book for pleasure or a blog I follow.
The time that you choose to do your main work may be different if you have a very hard time getting up. I would say that I focus best late at night to early in the morning. However, my husband has to get to work before 8 a.m., and he has a commute that is one hour and a half to one hour and 45 minutes. So, to be considerate to him, I wake up at 6:00 a.m. with him. It does take me a little while to wake up and focus, which is why I take some time to read an article relating to my field before I get to studying. The pros is that I am still able to focus more in the morning than in the afternoon or evening. I also feel quite a sense of accomplishment when by 2 a.m., work that requires my mental concentration is done. I tend to crash mentally at 3 p.m., like many people, so that is why from 2:00 p.m. onward, I do hands-on or rote projects, errands, cooking, and hobbies for pleasure.
Please share your ideas on your routine for a productive day.
VKatrina
2012-01-03
The Balance of Structure and Individuality
Loosing Structure
For the last few years, I believed that I disliked structure very much. However, I also noticed that without structure, such as a schedule or to do list or a plan for my days, months and years, I have drifted from job to job and not moved closer to my personal and life goals. I didn’t quite understand my aversion to structure in those last few years as when I was a paralegal, I took a great sense of pride in accomplishing things in a measured time. Even before that, from my youth to my early 20s, I was always an achiever, who planned my goals, and took steps to achieve them.
Thinking about thesee things in the last week as I feel more driven to accomplish my goal of getting into a top grad school, I realized that I need stucture to be successful. I am an INTJ, not an INTP. I also realized that the reason I have had an aversion to structure in the past few years is because I began to associate structure with people trying to control me. This is due to my previous relationship, where the person was as such, and caused me great anxiety due to his infidelities. Additionaly, it is due to my having a two jobs where I was micromanaged, and structured in by my bosses in almost everything I did. I also began to associate structure with people I saw who are successful and very structured, but who are also verymainstream in their views and behaviors, while I am somewhat unconventional.
Structure does not mean conformity
I began to associate structure with the lack of freedom to be myself, and an invisible hand of society to conform me to the thoughts and behaviors of most people. Subconsciously, I rebelled, not in the way I rebelled as a teen, where I went goth, with black clothing, high platform boots, streaks in my hair or safety pins and staples in my clothing. How I rebelled was in abandoning the desire and need for structure in my life, and instead doing what spurred me in the moment, not planning my days in detail, and trying to be more hippiesh, and procrastinating. However, I still could not help planning myself in some ways, such as planning where I will meet my friends, checking out the directions first, deciding what I would do if I arrived early, etc. Yet to not stick to the structure and rigidity of being punctual, which I associated with my structered jobs, I would decide to do the dishes or clean the apartment before I leave, and therefore, end up leaving later than I estimated and knew I should. I rebelled by impulsively shopping, yet ironically, I would plan that I would impulsively shop, such as which store, which isle I would start with, etc. While at the store, I still sorted through my options before I make my decision. The inpulse was in purchasing things that I didn’t need more of. My need for structure then led me to continously organize, categorize and de-clutter my items.
Success requires vision and a plan
Looking back over the last few years, I realize that I have always been successful when I have a vision, a plan, and take small action steps daily to achieve that plan. My rebellion against the structure I need has led me to seek structure in other ways, such as my environment, yet since my internal views were not congruent, even that has not stayed structured as I would like, leading to a lot of stress and wasted time organizing. I have come to understand myself that I like structure and getting things done. I don’t feel accomplished just thinking about things, and drifting aimslessly in knowledge. I like my thoughts and ideas to translate into something tangiable, into something that can be achieved, and I need closure and accomplishment. What I don’t need is structure and control under someone else’s terms. I am after all, an INTJ. I am highly independent, resourceful and I need a balance of a path/structure to follow in a job, but also enough freedom to exercise my ideas, and demonstrate and build my skills.
VKatrina